Blackness Of The Night
by KennethRathers
Summary: Red's daughter was kidnapped and they want Lizzy in exchange in order to get the Fulcrum. What is Red going to do and how will their feelings change for one another? Set after 2x08! Now AU! LIZZINGTON!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own The Blacklist and I don't make money with fanfiction. **

**The title is a song title by Cat Stevens and reminds me of Red. **

**Thanks to my beta inmate23! :) **

**This story will be less cheesy, but more dramatic. **

**Lizzington, but a slow burn.**

**I love reviews and constructive criticism. :) **

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They've just closed their latest case, thanks to Red, who gave the final advice, and were now on their way to his current safe house. He'd invited her for dinner, since she hasn't had much time for a proper meal in the past weeks. Her eyes looked tired, the area around them turned darker each day. With Berlin's death and Tom's disappearance, Red had hoped she would move on and let go of the past, but he knew deep in his gut, that Lizzy was mourning. Not about Tom, but about the two years she had wasted and he truly felt sorry for her.

"Raymond?", her voice interrupted him from his thoughts, and he wondered how often she had tried to get his attention, now that she called him by his given name.

"Yes, Lizzy?"

"Cooper wants to talk to you.", she held her phone towards him and watched how he shifted in his seat, so that he was practically facing her. His arm hung loosely over the headrest as he took the phone with a heavy sigh, and spoke mockingly, "Do you already miss me, Harold?"

She couldn't exactly make out, what Cooper told him, but his whole body tensed within a second. His hand, which was placed over the seat, balled into a tight fist, as he'd ended the call. He gave her back her phone, without a glance, meanwhile looking at Dembe in the rearview mirror.

"Dembe, we need to be at the Post Office as soon as possible.", he said, his voice almost dead.

Lizzy, who has watched him intensely, wondered if she had ever seen him that nervous. The silence slowly became uncomfortable between them, so she chose to make the first step, fully aware of the fact that he'll probably not answer her following question.

"Are you okay? What did he want?"

He shook his head, absently staring out of the window as he said in a tight voice, "Change in plans. We have a situation."

"Could you be a little bit more specific?", she asked, frustrated over his current reticence.

"Not now, Lizzy. I have to make sure this isn't a mislead by some wannabe criminal, before I can share anything with anyone."

She sighed and shifted lower in her seat. It was useless to start an argument, considering that he wouldn't answer any questions she probably has right now. Her head rested against the window and she cursed the person, who was responsible for that. All she wanted was a relaxed evening, dinner, one or maybe two glasses of wine, and finally sleep. The recent weeks were exhausting. Red had given them more cases, than ever before. Some were finished quickly, others needed weeks, such as the one, they'd finished a few hours before and she wasn't prepared for a new one to start.

_ _ TBL_

They rode in silence, until the car parked at the Post Office. Red exited the car, and in doing so he put on his black hat and hurried ahead to the elevator. Dembe and Lizzy joined him wordlessly, while his fingertips impatiently tapped against his thigh. He worked his jaw once, before he approached his bodyguard, "Will you call Ezra, please? Tell him I want him here."

Dembe gave his employer a short nod and waited, until the other two were out of his surroundings.

"Why? You've said, you first want to make sure this isn't a mislead.", Liz asked, simultaneously walking up the stairs to Cooper's office. Whatever her boss has told him, it must have frightened him enormously. Why else would he want Ezra back? She wasn't really fond of that man, to be honest, even if he saved her life once.

"He's going to watch you, when I'm not around."

"When you're not around? Does that imply, that you're...what?, she paused, "taking care of me from now on, as if I'm some sort of a pet?"

"I assure you, Lizzy, I wouldn't do that, if it is not entirely necessary.", he said flatly.

He walked into Cooper's office like he owned the place, not even thinking about knocking on the door. If half of what Harold has told him, was true, he'll be going through hell in the next week. There was no way on earth, that Raymond Reddington will give them what they want. They'd better give back, that which belongs to him and after that is done, he'll kill them.

Mercilessly. Painfully. Slowly.

He took off his hat, placed it on Cooper's desk and chewed his cheek nervously, "Where is it?"

"It was delivered about an hour ago.", Cooper said, while giving him a file, including two photographs and a letter, which was addressed to Red. He read the written words carefully and swallowed the lump in his throat, the muscles in his stomach contracted involuntary.

If he hasn't had his last meal over 10 hours ago, he'd surely consider vomiting an option.

Red stood with his back to Liz, which made it impossible for her to see what Cooper had handed him over. She stepped slowly closer and took a small look over his shoulder, as he peered at the photographs of a young, blond woman with curly hair. She must have been around her own age, maybe a few years younger. The second photo showed a birthmark on her hipbone in a strange form. She inclined her head to get a better look at the letter, but Red had already placed the information into his pockets.

"Who is this?", she asked quietly

Red, however, ignored her question and addressed Cooper instead, "Who brought that in?"

"It came in with the usual mail.", he answered flatly.

"I want the security footages."

"I will get Aram.", with that, Cooper disappeared out of his office into the War Room.

Liz leaned against the wall, now standing next to Red, meanwhile watching him with her arms folded.

"Who is this, Red?", she asked him again, but this time more eagerly.

He chewed his bottom lip and rubbed his thumb tiredly over the bridge of his nose, like that would ease his mind, "Jennifer.", he said, his voice barely a whisper.

She pushed herself from the wall and walked up to him, to give his shoulder a comforting squeeze, fully aware that her gesture wouldn't help him right now.

"Why? What do they want?"

He worked his jaw and tried to focus on another point in the room. Everything was better than looking at her, since this whole mess was his fault. The stone was rolling and he might not be able to stop it, but he'll try, even if all hell broke loose. After what seemed like minutes, he had decided not to be a coward and his eyes finally found hers. He wanted to sound confident, but he failed miserably.

"You."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for your kind reviews, favs and follows. It made me really happy. **  
**Here's the second chapter and I hope you will like it. **  
**Thanks again to inmate23 for helping me. :) **

**Please review :) **

**I still own nothing**

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She pointed at herself with her forefinger while trying to sort out the questions in her head, such as _'What the hell do I have to do with it?', _or_ 'Who have you pissed off this time',_ but her brain and mouth weren't working in sync.

That's why a simple, but disbelieving,"Me?", escaped from her throat, as her eyes followed him strolling through the office. Either he didn't want to answer her question because it was rhetorical, or because he was too lost in his own thoughts. He was probably forging out a plan how to extricate his daughter without handing her in, but honestly, she had to know what her role was in this situation.

"Why me and who are those people?", she asked in a monotonous voice but still with some force behind it.

After he had finished running circles around the room, he turned toward her and pursed his lips before answering her, "We will talk about this, I promise but not here."

"Why not?"

He glared at her and let out a puff of air in frustration, "Because we don't have time right now, and since you are spending your free time at my house in the next few days, we can discuss everything tonight."

She sighed.

He went out and took a moment to process the recent events. His hand rested against the wall, as the wheels in his head began turning wildly. This wasn't supposed to happen, but based on his previous actions, it was bound to eventualy. He knew that these people not only wanted Lizzy, but also the Fulcrum, which Liz was connected to. Unfortunately, they would kill her afterwards. Of that he was sure.

If he hadn't protected her they would have taken her, without involving Jennifer. Would that have been better? _'Of course not. She would be dead by now!' _

He pressed his eyes shut, as if it that would make the image of her dead body, disappear from his head. Only when he heard Dembe's rich voice from across the hall, he slowly came back to awareness. He straightened his back and took a few calming breaths, before he walked to his friend and Ezra.

"Ezra.", he patted his shoulder with a smirk, "How did the arrest go?"

"Reminded me of being grounded as a teenager.", he responded dryly.

"Well, I'm glad you made it out. You will have the same job as before.", he paused and then spoke to Dembe, "Dembe, go to Agent Keen's hotel and bring her bag, please. I'll give you a call when we are done here."

Both men nodded in acceptance and disappeared out of the building.

Lizzy, who watched the scene from Cooper's office, grabbed his forgotten hat and joined him quietly. She handed him his fedora with a sad smile on her face. He was looking for his daughter and finally someone had found her but unfortunately to kill her, instead of keeping her safe.

She couldn't fathom what her importance was in this particular case, but Red would surely enlighten her soon.

H**e** placed the fedora on his head, as he studied her features. She looked sad and probably also felt sorry for him. That wasn't right and the mere thought made him feel guilty. A feeling he hadn't had in a long time. He gave her an encouraging look.

"Everything will be just fine, Lizzy.", he said gently, his hand on her lower back, leading her downstairs into the War room.

She mumbled a small "Sure", but it went by unheard, as they met the other agents.

Cooper had explained the facts to Ressler, Samar and Aram, who was currently focused on his computer screen. He looked up shortly, as he heard the footsteps approaching. His breathing quickened when he glanced at the brown leather shoes, which came to a halt before him.

"Do you have it?", he asked in his deepest tone.

"Hello Mr. Reddi-", he cleared his throat, "Mr. Reddington...Um, yes...but it is blur- it is blurred.", he finally managed to stutter out, and hit the enter key to transfer the picture to the big screen.

He was sometimes thinking of the day, when Red forced him at gunpoint, to steal 5 million dollars within 2 minutes. That thought gave him goosebumps, let alone speaking to his intimidating persona.

Red stared at the monitor, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes squinted, as he tried to recognize the face of an average man. If he had seen him before, he would have known it, but this face was unfamiliar to him. _'Would have been too easy.'_, he thought.

"Has he been here before today?"

Aram nodded, "Yes...I checked the footages from the recent weeks. I'm sorry, Sir."

"Are you sure it's your daughter, Reddington? You haven't seen her in a while. People change.", Ressler said with a raised eyebrow, "What if that's the beginning your endgame? You were just using Keen anyway and now you want to get rid of her? They could have taken her any number of times, without holding your child captive. I don't get it."

Lizzie's eyes widened, as her stare switched from Red to Ressler and back, the veins on Red's forehead were clearly visible. Before he could retort to this accusation, she used the momentary silence to jump in and ease the situation, "It's personal. They want him to lose something, or someone.", she said looking at Ressler.

She was offended by his comment. Getting rid of her. Used her. Really? Okay, he might have used her, maybe he still is, but he would never cause her any harm, surely? Besides, his previous actions have shown that.

"How much time do we have until this 'event' takes place?", Ressler interrupted her thoughts, although the question was directed at Red.

"A week.", he answered and dropped his voice an octave lower as he added with a deadly glare, "And to put your mind at ease, Agent Ressler, it _is most certainly_ my daughter."

Cooper nodded at Ressler, implying that Red told the truth, which caused Donald to sigh in frustration.

"What are we gonna do now?"

"You?", Red chuckled and shook his head, "Nothing. Keep me informed if something comes in.", he said simply and turned on his heels, his arm gently sliding around Lizzie's elbow, "If you will excuse us, we have business to attend to."

Liz gave Ressler an apologetic look before she, more or less giving in, allowed Red to guide her outside to Dembe, who was already waiting for their return.

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The rest of the late afternoon passed by quickly. Their safe house was out of D.C, somewhere in a forest. It wasn't really a house, more like a cabin, but a nice one. No marble floors or expensive paintings on the wall. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a living room with a sofa and a small table. It was simple, which made her feel more comfortable. They had grabbed some takeout on their way and were completely stuffed and tired, but circumstances wouldn't allow the postponement of their conversation until tomorrow. She leaned forward and rested her arms on her knees.

"So, let's get this over with. Why me?"

He reached for his scotch and poured himself a glass, to drag out his answer as long as possible. Even though he knew he had to tell her, he didn't know how to start. How would she react? Was she going to leave and run away from all of this?

He sipped the brown liquid and enjoyed the burning feeling, as it ran down his throat, "You are connected to something they want."

She nodded hesitantly, "Right, and what would that be?"

"The Fulcrum. It's a disk with highly valuable information about certain events during the Cold war. I don't know exactly what events are involved, but disclosing it could destroy the reputation of the U.S. and other involved countries.", he explained monotonous and leaned back, his arm placed casually on the armrest.

"I have no idea what this... Fulcrum is. How do you know this?", she asked, while turning toward him.

He pursed his lips, "During my years in the Navy, I met a politician. We shared a few drinks in a dirty bar and he became rather chatty when he got drunk. He told me what I told you. Years later, the document was stolen by someone. Unpleasant things happened and this Alliance had threatened to kill me, so I told them I had the evidence and they couldn't, as I threatened to publish the information. I tried to find it over the years, untill I finally got a hint of where it could be."

She leaned her elbow on the headrest and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Where?"

"Your house. It was in your father's property."

"So you stole it?"

He swallowed deeply and chewed his cheek, "No, not exactly. I planned to do that, but something went terribly wrong."

His eyes seemed miles away. It somehow reminded her of the moment when he told her how hard it was to kill Sam. Although she could sense where this conversation was heading, she decided to poke deeper into the hole. She inclined her head to get his attention back, "Red. What happened?"

"I got caught by him. It led into a fight, causing a candle to drop onto the floor. I hit your father hard on the head. He fell unconscious and I ran through the house, looking for the disk. I was in your basement when I found it, the fire almost forgotten until I hurried upstairs. All I wanted was to go outside and back to my family, but then I heard a child crying out for her parents, so I ran into your room. You had wrapped yourself into your blanket and clung onto your plush bunny. I didn't think, I just took you and covered you in my jacket to protect you from the flames. We made it out and I brought you to Sam."

She held her breath and moved back to put some space between them. This couldn't be. Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn't dare to let them out. Not now. The last memory of her father was wrong and Red tried to make her believe in this memory as long as possible. Should she be thankful for all that?

Perhaps. Most likely.

Her mouth couldn't form the words. He killed her father. Again. If it weren't so tragic and sad, she would have asked him _'Is this your thing?'_. She took a deep breath and slowly let the air out through her mouth.

"So you have it?", she asked in a wobbly voice, her eyes seeking his.

He was truly glad that she only moved a short distance and not miles away from him. She was still there. With him. But it wasn't over yet. He prepared himself for the worst, so he poured his tumbler half full, and emptied it immediately.

"No. I placed it in your bunny...", at her shocked look, he gently grabbed her wrist as she started to leave, "Wait! Listen, I knew you were absolutely safe with Sam and I had to protect my family. It was too dangerous to have it with me, Lizzy. No one knew who you were, until now. They want it back and they will... kill... you to get it."

She starred at his hand and pulled away, "So that's what all that 'I speak only with Elizabeth Keen' crap was about? Tom was right. Ressler was right. You _are_ using me.", she said angrily.

"Yes and even though I am to blame for this situation, I will always protect you. I won't let anything happen to you. I've said this once, I say this now and I mean it.", he responded as his eyes filled with tears.

She sat back next to him, the tears running freely down her cheeks. She felt like an object. She almost felt betrayed, as the friend she thought she found in Red, didn't seem to exist either. He was only trying to lessen his guilt.

On the other hand, she was conflicted, as he had saved her from the fire. He didn't have to do this but who would let an innocent child die? Most certainly not someone with a heart.

She wiped the tears away with the back of her hands and cleared her throat, "I thought you were my friend, Red. I started to trust you.", she sniffed and took a small glimpse at him.

"I am your friend, if this is what you want me to be."

He laid an arm around her and stroked her upper arm up and down soothingly, "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

As his arm slid around her, she felt herself pulled toward him like a magnet. That was probably how she would describe their personalities. North and south pole. They were two magnets, which needed to be close to one another, if they wanted it or not.

Lizzy didn't want to be close to him right now, but there it was again. That irresistible pull.

She couldn't resist the urge and leaned in, so that her tired head rested on his shoulder, "I hope you understand that I need some time to process this."

"Mhmm", he hummed as his hand continued his ministrations, "Even though I really enjoy the silence, where is your plush bunny, Lizzy?", he whispered.

"I sent all of the boxes back to Nebraska to Aunt June.", she said, looking up now.

"We will visit her tomorrow then. I can't wait to see her again.", he smiled lightly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the third chapter and I hope you'll like it. **  
**Thanks to inmate23 again! :) **  
**Please leave a Review :)**

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Red had decided to leave early in the morning. He hadn't been to Nebraska since Sam died and the memories of this day were still haunting him like a ghost. There was a reason why he hadn't been to several places during the last twenty years.

Psychologists would define his behavior as repression. He had avoided going to Florence, as it could have led to a serious relationship with Madeline Pratt. He had never celebrated Christmas since 1990, because it reminded him of better time, but he returned to his hometown, only to blow up his former house, hoping that this action would help him forget those past memories.

It wasn't that he didn't want friends, or someone by his side to love, but he convinced himself he didn't deserve any friends, love and happiness. Even though it was only a matter of time until his ghosts outrun him, he had expected it to be less painful. Sleep had always been a luxury in Red's life and 4 hours were usually enough to regain energy for the following day but last night was horrendous.

After his talk with Lizzy, his mind was far from shutting down. All of his senses were alert and wide awake, so he didn't find sleeping an option. Instead, he had emptied his scotch, assuming that drinking was the only chance to get some rest eventually. It was a relief to find that she would stay with him and not completely turn away.

Even though he would have accepted every decision she made, he couldn't fathom the thought of proceeding without her in his life. She saw him as a friend and she was the only stability he currently had. All of these emotions and thoughts drifted through his mind, as he was lyingon his bed and watching the night slowly pass by.

Red eventually gave up trying to get any sleep, and it was probably for the best since his nightmares became worse after, or before dangerous events. He decided to use this time to form a plan, in which both women would survive in the end. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be hundred percent safe, but there was no other way out. They will go to Nebraska, get the disk and he'll try to rescue Jennifer without involving Lizzy**. **He was betting that the Chinese faction were behind all of this and if that was true, so help him God, they were as good as dead.

Consequences be damned.

He got dressed in a casual pair of dark jeans, a white dress shirt, and slipped on a blue sweater. Normally, he preferred to wear suits above anything else, as they were some sort of armor and symbolized elusiveness, strength and invulnerability. Given the fact that those characteristics were destroyed for now, he didn't feel like wearing those. He felt vulnerable, weak, and worst of all, someone had found his blind spot. However, he had to maintain his facade, at least in front of Lizzy.

They walked the streets of the small town, where she grew up. It was a rather cold and foggy day in December, so Lizzy zipped up her coat and buried her hands deeper into her pockets. She glimpsed at Red every now and then, whose eyes wandered around until they came to a short stop on Sam's old house.

The nerve under his left eye twitched for a brief moment, something no one would have ever recognized, but she learned to read him and knew all of his tics and tells. Tipping against his thigh with either his hat, or hand meant nervousness and impatience; the eye twitch, and chewing always happened when she confronted him with something, which made him feel uncomfortable, or when he thought back to certain moments.

He often tried to suppress those habits, but habits remained habits, even for Raymond Reddington. When her elbow accidentally brushed his expensive coat, her eyes turned towards the house of her aunt. She hadn't seen her since her father's funeral.

She sniffed to stop her running nose and asked, as her almost numb finger, hit the doorbell, "How much does she know about...us?"

"That I saved you.", he said matter-of-factly.

Liz stuttered a small "Good" through chattering teeth, as the door was opened by a middle-aged woman, who was obviously perplexed at the sight of her niece on her doorstep.

"Lizzy!", she exclaimed happily, as she finally pulled her into a tight hug.

She eventually let go and smiled brightly, her hands on Lizzy's shoulders, "How are you doing, sweetie?"

"I'm fine.", she lied, managing a small smile in return.

She took a glimpse at Red over her shoulder, than back at her aunt, who was now fully focused on Red. He watched how she slowly approached him, seemingly uncertain if it was really him.

"Raymond,", she eyed him cautiously from head to toe, with folded arms, until a smile spread across her face, "come here, you cheeky rascal."

Red, always the gentleman, bent down and kissed her cheek, as a hoarse 'Hello, my dear.' left his lips.

"I must say, you've become quite tubby.", she said mockingly as her hand patted his belly playfully.

He looked down, slightly offended, even if he didn't show it and chuckled, "Well, I can't resist any kind of food, since I once fasted for a week. It was awful."

Lizzy bit down on her bottom lip to hold back a laugh. It was an almost unbelievable sight to see Raymond Reddington, a wanted criminal, get his belly patted like a puppy. His tales and encounters with acquaintances from his past, were always amusing and something she was actually really fond of, but this particular one would definitely be among her favorites, although it also worried her.

He is used to holding back any emotions in front of other people, and normally she wouldn't care about that, however, the images of his teary-eyed face and the honesty in his voice, from their recent conversation, were a turning point in their relationship. Despite all the horrible things he had done, she couldn't hate him, and that made her question her sanity once again.

Lizzy slowly came back to awareness, as Red began to slip off his coat and talk to June about them working together in general, even though his words still seemed miles away. Her fingers finally found the zipper of her coat, to take it off and hang it in the wardrobe.

"Do you want anything? Coffee, or tea maybe?", June asked both her visitors friendly.

Red and Liz simultaneously responded to her question with a resolute "No, thanks." until their eyes met shortly and Red gestured for Lizzy to continue.

"I need something from dad's things. Are the boxes in the attic?", she asked, while her finger pointed at the stairs.

"Yeah, but it's quite messy, so you'll have to rummage through it yourself."

_'Wonderful' _

"No problem.", she tried to smile and climbed up the stairs.

As much as she loved her family, there was always one family member you wanted to avoid badly and her aunt definitely took the cake in that case. Not that she didn't like her but she had a tendency to be slightly intrusive and overbearing. Moreover, they didn't have time for small talk.

Red silently followed her upstairs, while his eyes focused on her back as she went into the dimly lit room. He squinted, so that he could at least see Lizzy, who walked gracefully around all the boxes as he cautiously tried to do the same.

She finally managed to switch on the light, and turned around to survey the utter chaos. There were dozens of boxes placed on the dusty floor and she was glad that she had chosen darker clothes today.

They started to pick up one cardboard box after another, in comfortable silence. To be honest, she had no idea what they could talk about anyway.

Looking through Sam's old belongings was still hard for her, and she hoped to find that plush toy as soon as possible, because she didn't know for how long she could hold her emotions in check. So she thought it best to interrupt the silence.

She cleared her dry throat, her eyes still fixed on the box in front of her, "You tried fasting for a week? Really?"

"Yes, until a T-Bone Steak and Crème Brûlée crossed my path."

"I haven't expected your endurance to be so low."

"Only with food.", he winked.

Liz nodded hesitantly with raised eyebrows and mumbled a quiet _'Right'. S_he opened the next one, that contained a photo of her and Sam on top, which caused her mood to drop immediately.

"Did Sam know about all of this?", she asked quietly.

"About my weakness for food?", he joked, although he knew where the conversation was heading.

"Red...", she said, her patience was wearing thin.

He answered her with a short nod, before he stopped what he was doing and rested his hands on the table. Ever so often, he tilted his head to seek out her face and study her features.

**"**He didn't hesitate when I asked him to take care of you, Lizzy.", he paused for a brief moment, "His reasons to be there for you and protect you, were dissimilar to mine. He did that, because he loved you unconditionally. That's what parents do. Protect and love their children, without expecting something in return. Sam was, by far, the best father I have ever seen. Don't think he had any other motives." He explained, his voice at the end nothing more than a whisper.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and breathed out deeply, her eyes never leaving his, "If that's what parents do, then why did you abandon your family? How can you be so calm right now?"

The expression on his face ultimately changed from caring, to that emotionless mask, but if his hands hadn't been resting on the wooden table, he would have had problems staying upright. He counted the number of times, she called him out on that and this was the third time.

If anyone else confronted him with that piece from his past, he simply wouldn't care, but it hurt that Lizzy thought of him as an obnoxious person.

Sadly, now wasn't the time to talk about that fateful Christmas Eve, even if he couldn't bear her disappointed glances anymore. Leaving his family, especially his daughter, had never been an easy option for him. His marriage wasn't happy at all, they were both young and convinced they would manage the difficulties his job would bring. Jennifer had been the only shining light in his miserable life.

He peered down and clenched his jaw, their breathing the only sound in the room by now.

"Well...", he started calmly after a while and continued looking into the box, until he finally found what they were seeking.

"Panic gets you into nothing but trouble and it wouldn't change a thing, except making you vulnerable to mistakes.", he stated simply and got his penknife out of his pocket.

"People make mistakes. That's human."

"Is this the moral of the F.B.I?", he laughed, "Why am I not surprised?"

She sighed and leaned over to get a better look at what he was currently doing. He had already opened the plush animal, his hand buried in the back of her bunny. It came back out empty.

"It's gone.", he said and shook his head in disbelief.

"Are you sure?", she had a look herself, but it was indeed empty, "I don't know who..."

"I do.", he interrupted her.

"Would you give me your phone, please? I have to call Mr. Kaplan."

She gave him her cell without another word and listened how he told the older woman to look for someone named Marcus Havering in Chicago.

"Who is Marcus Havering?", she asked suspiciously, walking towards him.

"Someone who was most certainly faster than we were."

She sighed, "Okay, and now what?"

"I'm going to fly to Chicago, as soon as Mr. Kaplan gives me more information."

"What am I gonna do?"

"You will stay in D.C. Ezra will be close by."

She shook her head and stared at him, "Oh no, we're not doing this. I'm perfectly capable of handling this. I'll join you."

They continued their silent battle for a few more seconds, until Red gradually closed the distance between them. He peered down at her and put both of his hands on her shoulders, as he said in his low smooth voice, "It was not my intent to offend you, Lizzy, I simply thought your presence would only distract me. I must keep you safe and I will do my utmost to keep you away from danger, because if something happens to you too, I won't be calm anymore."

His hands ran softly down her arms, until he finally let go and smiled tenderly at her.

She could only nod. His words, his touch and his whole presence took her completely in. They have been close to one another a couple of times, but something was different this time. She couldn't exactly make out what it was. Her eyes were still fully fixated on him, his green eyes and his tender smile. Her heart was beating fast against her chest, as she felt his hands moving down her arms and much to her dismay, she missed the brush of his fingers against her skin. It was then that a thought struck her.

_'I can't fall in love with a criminal.'_


	4. Chapter 4

**I know I'm late for the party, but I wish you a Happy New Year! :)  
**

**Sorry for the delay, but I've been busy during the holidays. **

**I hope you like that one.**

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"No.", Red said, while he changed into one of his suits.

Mr. Kaplan gave him the necessary information about the whereabouts of Marcus Havering, so he had decided to leave immediately.

"I'm a trained agent," she tried to defend herself on the other side of the door, her head repeatedly knocking against it.

"And a possible victim. You stay here with Ezra. He is actually quite nice. Get acquainted with him. Make yourself at home."

Red found that recurring banging to be slightly annoying, so he went to open the door, and let her in. His tie hung loosely around his neck, and his shirt wasn't tucked into his pants yet, as Liz poked her head into his bedroom.

"I have better things in mind than..." she stopped for a brief moment to watch him closely before she finished in a softer tone, "making friends."

He looked over his shoulder as he buckled his belt and was highly amused, when her eyes abruptly focused on a different point in the room. With straightened neck and pursed lips, he began to tie his tie, "What would that be?"

"You!" She responded and regretted her statement immediately. She felt a flush creep up on her cheek, when Red smiled smugly through the mirror. Her brain tried to form a logical explanation but every time he put on this self-satisfied smirk, she went literally numb, unable to do anything. Even talking.

"If my person is all you have in mind, I consider myself flattered, but I think you wanted to say more. So please elaborate, Lizzy!"

She groaned out in frustration, "You'd rather go alone to meet a mysterious and dangerous man than take someone with you, who can help." She raised her hand when she saw that he wanted to say something, "You do that constantly, I know. But we'd be in trouble, if you get hurt, or worse."

They stared at each other for a few seconds until Red turned around to pack his bag. He breathed out deeply, while he neatly folded his shirts.

"I only want to talk to him. No guns and violence whatsoever." he responded.

Lizzy finally decided to enter his bedroom, in her opinion the most private and intimate room to a person and moreover she didn't want to have this debate with only her head in the room. It seems that Red didn't mind either. She kicked the door shut with her foot and leaned against it, her arms folded and a thin smile appeared on her face, "Interesting. If your meeting isn't dangerous at all, then why do I have to stay here? We both know that I'm not a distraction to you. I rather think you don't want me to see this man, because I might know him."

She could see, from where she was standing, that he tensed when she had finished her earlier statement.

He had a tight grip on his dress shirt and wasn't moving an inch. The wheels in his head ran wildly. He clenched his jaw and pondered on how she would react, if he told her that Marcus Havering is the new identity of her former husband Thomas Vincent Keen.

For the first time, he considered lying a possibility. She would surely hate him, no matter what he would do. On the other hand, she betrayed him as well and he gladly forgave her instantly.

The best solution would be to distract her. Lying once only leads into more lies, until you start to believe in your own deceit. He shook his head and put his shirt in his bag, before he turned around, startled for a short moment, to find her standing in front of him.

"You should have left it at 'You'. Why do I never get compliments from you, even though I give them to you as often as I can? It's very unfair. Don't you think my ego deserves to be massaged every now and then?" he said smugly, stressing the words 'massaged' and 'ego' while his eyes were intensely focused on her.

Liz expected that he would answer her by asking another question. She didn't know whether to laugh, or slap him for his presumption. She was used to his remarks and gazes, but innuendo was new on the list, and that only confirmed her assumption that she had been right about his contact.

She knows him.

She mirrored his gaze while her hands straightened his slightly crooked tie and leaned closer into his personal space, "Don't worry, your ego is big enough." she whispered in his ear and patted his chest playfully.

He had rather expected she would roll her eyes, or laugh, even saying 'Absolutely not', but she never ceased to amaze him. His eyes shined full of delight and a throaty chuckle escaped from his lips.

"That wasn't meant as a compliment." she said smirking.

Red answered in feigned offense, "Well, do you want to stay and continue trampling on my already shattered heart, or can I go on and pack my underwear in my bag?"

He didn't often show any kind of emotion but Lizzy caught a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. She didn't know, whether it was because he had taken her comment seriously, or because of this whole messed up situation. Probably because of both. Her fingers fumbled with his already perfect tie, her eyes focused on his tie. He had chosen a blue one, a color that made him look even more striking, if that was even possible.

Only when she felt Red's gaze on her, she stopped her movements and let her hands slowly slip down the entire length of his silk tie, before she finally let go and stepped away from him, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude."

Red watched fascinated how her hands worked on his tie, whereby her fingertips slightly grazed his torso, causing him to shiver lightly. He turned on his heels and drew a long breath. Something was different with Lizzy, since they returned from Nebraska but he couldn't tell what it was.

It wasn't only sympathy. He had always known that she cared more about him, than she would admit to herself but this was a whole new level of concern. Her gazes and the urge to be close to him were new to him.

"Raymond." Dembe interrupted his thought from elaborating, as his friend stepped into the room.

He turned around and gave him a puzzled look, waiting for him to continue.

"We have to go to the Post Office. There has been a development."

"I'll be there, shortly."

With that, Dembe disappeared as quickly as he came and Lizzy let out a groan in frustration, causing Red to stop in his tracks, "Is something wrong?"

"Can I, at least, come with you to the Post Office?"

"Of course! I don't want to shut you out completely." he said teasingly. God, how much he enjoyed teasing her.

"How generous!" she responded sarcastically, "I'll be waiting in the car."

With a raised eyebrow, he watched her walking out before he released a breath and finished packing quickly.

* * *

Their ride to the Blacksite was rather awkward. Neither of them dared to talk. Red watched the buildings of the city center as Dembe maneuvered the car through the dense traffic.

He didn't consider himself a fan of modern architecture. Throughout the years, he had the privilege to visit all of the continents, almost every country on the planet, and a various number of cities. Florence was among his favorites, as well as Venice, Copenhagen, Zurich and Munich.

His thoughts drifted to the time he climbed the Mount Kilimanjaro, when he was in his mid thirties. The view was astonishing and he wondered, if he would ever get the chance to see it again. Not only because of his damaged knee. He walked a dangerous path for years and was well aware of that fact. Death knocked on his door every now and then, so to speak, and he always survived. On the other hand, this time he wasn't so sure about that. He would sacrifice himself in a blink of an eye for the women he loved.

Loved

Yes, he loved them both, although his feelings had changed for this one particular woman. When did that happen? The answer was simple. Anslo Garrick. He killed Luli, threatened to kill Dembe, but when Anslo's associates brought in Lizzy, it felt as if someone squashed his heart.

It might sound like a cliché and overly cheesy, but killing her, simultaneously meant killing him. Their whole partnership was supposed to be a means to an end. If only he was a robot. A machine without feelings, nor a heart. Too bad that wasn't the case, because he had to live with the knowledge that she wasn't allowed to be his and that hurt.

Eventually Dembe parked the car in the garage. It was probably for the best not to fantasize about things that won't happen anyway. He followed Lizzy into the War Room where Aram was linking wires. He looked up briefly and smiled reassuringly at Lizzy, until he recognized Red close behind her and his smile faded and he dedicated his attention back to his task.

"Hey Agent Keen. Um, Mr. Reddington." he greeted them.

'Come on Aram. Pull yourself together!'

"What's going on?" Liz asked.

"Mail for Reddington." Ressler said as he walked down the stairs from Cooper's Office, "It came in two hours ago. We opened it, if you don't mind.", he added deprecatingly.

Red clenched his jaw and ripped the item out of his hand. His patience with him was wearing thin after their last encounter two days ago, and he knew that if Ressler says one more wrong word, he

would lose his tempter. He took out a mobile phone and blinked at Aram.

"They're using prepaid phones?", he asked.

He started his computer and nodded, "I think so."

"Which means you can't retrace the call.", Lizzy added sighing.

His eyes switched from Lizzy to Red, "Well, not quite. I wrote a computer program in high school..."

Red tipped his fingertips impatiently against his thigh, "I'm sure this is a lovely story, but would you please answer with a yes, or no?"

Aram winced quietly, "Yes, but I need a satellite connection to find out the exact location.

"For how long do I have to keep them talking?" Red asked, while he laid his black fedora next to the keyboard.

"If the program works, it should be done within 3-5 minutes." he said and linked the mobile with his computer and waited until the devices were connected. He gave Red a nod to call the only number in the call history.

Red flipped open the phone and took the seat next to Aram. He could feel that all eyes were focused on him and he wished for a little more privacy.

** "Raymond Reddington. I am really glad you called."**

The wheels in his head began to turn wildly as he heard the voice of his oppenent.

_'Male. No familiar voice. Speaks with an accent. Probably German'_ he thought.

"Where is she?" he asked, his voice deadly low.

** "With me and my associates. You have a beautiful daughter, Mr. Reddington.", the man chuckled,"I heard you take care of Agent Keen. I guess that means you won't give her to us then?**

Red tilted his head and starred at his fedora.

"No, but I offer you a deal. I get you the thing you want, and you let her go."

The stranger huffed a laugh in amusement. His voice was penetrating, sometimes throaty, but not all the time. Red assumed that he must be around 60 years old.

** "You're not in charge. We don't do any more deals with you. You betrayed us and it's time for you to suffer." he exclaimed, "Give us Elizabeth Keen! She will lead us to her father, so we can bring him to jail. Then... We. Will. Kill. Her!" he added, pausing between every word of the last sentence.**

Those last words hit him directly into his heart. It was even worse than the Anslo disaster. The nerve under his eye twitched at the thought of Lizzie's lifeless body.

_'He's obviously a psychopath.'_

"I'll give you both." He glanced over to Aram questioningly, "All I need is time." Red said, still looking to him.

Aram got the hint and raised his thumb, meaning that he had traced the caller's location.

** "If you don't stand by the agreement, your daughter will die. We're giving you a choice. Show a little gratitude!"**

"I want proof that she's okay."

** "Not today. Maybe the day after tomorrow, if you behave!"**

With that statement, he hung up, leaving Red in the dark about the current condition of his daughter. Lizzy watched how his face went paler during the recent minutes. She had never seen him wrecked before but for the first time Raymond Reddington seemed clueless.

"They are somewhere in the Thuringian Forest, Germany." Aram told them.

"Could you make out the coordinates?" Liz asked, while she walked towards them both.

"No, but I know that there's a bunker within this area." he said and pointed to the map on the screen, "it was a secret munitions bunker during the Second World War. The perfect hideout, if you ask me."

Red and Liz stared at him confused. How did he know this? Without him, they would apparently all have been dead already, and now it seemed he saved them again.

"I read a lot of history books." He shrugged as he recognized their perplexed looks.

"It's a shame that you're working for the government, Aram. I would pay you double."

He patted his shoulder in thanks, which made Aram smile tremulously. Red picked up his fedora and turned to Lizzy, "Ezra will be here soon to pick you up. Until then, tell Cooper that I'll be back tomorrow. He should set a meeting with Agent Navabi and Aram."

"I guess you have a plan?"

"I do." He answered and placed his hat back onto his head, straightening it with a tip on the brim.

"I will see you tomorrow, Lizzy."

She looked over to Aram, who disconnected the cables and followed Red heading for the elevator.

"Red. Wait!"

"Yes?"

She bit down on her lip and suddenly felt terribly embarrassed for running after him, "I just... I mean..." she stuttered and breathed in deeply, gathering her courage while looking him straight in the eyes, "Please take care!"

The fixed expression on his face swiftly changed as he saw her haunted look. His mouth parted slightly, because he didn't know how to respond. The feeling that someone, especially she, told him to take care, overwhelmed him with a warmth he had not felt in years. He wrapped his arms around her and dropped a short kiss onto her hair.

"Everything will be fine. We will be fine." He whispered, his hands moving comfortingly over her back, and somehow she believed what he said. His soothing voice always had a calming effect on her, let alone his whole appearance. She let out a shuddering breath, closed her eyes and grabbed a fistful of his jacket as his arms flowed around her. Her small form fit perfectly into his, like a key that only fits into the front door of your house. The world around them slowly faded away and the noises around them disappeared, as their bodies melded into each other. All her fears and worries left her figure as Red tightened his grip. Even though there were standing in a relatively dark corner of the room, their embrace was suspiciously observed by Ressler and Samar.

"I knew they were in cahoots." Ressler mumbled with one hand at his hip at the top of the stairs.

"They aren't."

"Yeah, and what is that over there?"

"Affection you smartass!" Samar answered with annoyance in her voice.

Red pulled eventually away, neither aware of the fact that her partners had witnessed the recent scene but to be honest, they wouldn't care about it either. He kissed her forehead one more time and stepped into the elevator, smiling lightly, "I'll let you know, if I get a lead."

Or in other words 'I'll let you know I'm fine, when I'm done', but he assumed that she got his hint, and when her face brightened, he knew she did.

* * *

[9 hours later in Chicago]

Red and Dembe were standing at the corner, watching their target talking to a man in a small alley. It was already 9 p.m and therefore dark. Both men wore black hoodies and hid behind a bar.

Dembe was standing behind his employer and friend, and let his eyes roam around the street. The area could be described as filthy. Prostitutes and junkies ruled the area and Red would have rather spent the evening with Lizzy at his safehouse. He didn't like the image of her being alone in his house. Well, she wasn't alone but apparently Ezra wasn't the company she wanted.

She wanted to be with him. The corners of his lips turned upwards at the thought of that.

He looked over his shoulder at Dembe and pointed at the garbage bins, before he slowly walked towards them to hear better what Tom was talking about. He removed the safety of his gun and leaned his back against the cold metal, turning his head only slightly to make out the features of the other man, but he couldn't see anything due to the dark.

A rustling appeared from behind, causing him to turn around completely, only to find Dembe lying unconsciously on the ground. Kneeling at his side he checked for his pulse, which was fortunately steady. He let out a breath in relief and looked for further injuries. There was no blood on his friend, only a small injection site. Whoever did this, must have given him a sedative.

There was no way that Red could do the interrogation without Dembe, so he had to leave this place as soon as possible. Again, he checked his surroundings and found Tom to be standing merely 3 feet away from him.

"Tom, I'm not here to..." Red started, but his words were cut off by Tom's left arm around his throat. Still kneeling with his gun lying beside Dembe, Red wanted to shoot, but Tom's reaction was faster as the sole of his shoe booted his hand hard. Red groaned out in pain, trying desperately to escape from his grip. Breathing became harder by the time, and he was almost sure that he wouldn't come out of this alive this time. He brought his left hand up to encircle Tom's wrist, which was more difficult than he thought it would be.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance at the hospital." Tom panted and watched Red's pale face with a thin smile.

Tom's grip tightened and Red's only weapon right now were his teeth. He shifted a little to the left and bit down on Tom's upper arm as hard as he could, making him scream out loud. His hold on him loosened, causing Red to cough before he took a few shuddering breaths, until his lung was finally filled with enough oxygen.

"I need to know where..." he tried again to get his attention, but he was already lying on his back, and felt how he was kicked into his stomach over and over again. Red rolled onto his side and laid his arms protectively around his belly. He knew he would pass out and hoped it would happen soon. His last thoughts were of his daughter and Lizzy. He had failed. Failed to save Jennifer and Lizzy. He failed to tell Lizzy how he felt. How ridiculous it was. If he would get out of this alive, it will be the first thing he would do.

"Sorry Ray, but he told me to let you suffer!" Tom whispered and stabbed him with a knife into his shoulder. Red only whimpered and heard a familiar voice screaming from afar.

Lizzy?

Lizzy!

He opened his eyes and there she was, her gun pointed at Tom.

She can't do that.

"Lizzy, don't!" he groaned between gritted teeth.

She pulled the trigger without blinking, hitting Tom right into the head. His body hit the ground with a dull 'thud'. Red glanced into his emotionless eyes one more time before his eyes fell shut and he finally passed out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here we go. Chapter 5 is up!  
It's more from Lizzie's POV and how she managed to get to Chicago without Ezra close on her heels.  
This Chapter lacks Lizzington, but I hope you like it.  
A huge thanks to inmate23!  
**

* * *

When Lizzy left Red's bedroom earlier that day, she already had a plan in mind, on how she could follow Red without his knowledge. She had shoved her phone into Red's bag, so that Aram could locate him later. Clearly, he wouldn't be amused and she could imagine the angry looks he would send her, but Elizabeth Keen wasn't his pet. Even though she enjoyed that he treated her like she was currently the most important woman on this planet, having a babysitter during his absence was insulting.

He metaphorically pushed her into the grave more than once, so why would he stop now? His daughter was supposed to die, if he wouldn't give in and she was game to do everything in her power to help him. He saved her life and she would help him saving Jennifer and him.

She grabbed her coat from the wardrobe and walked to the car, where Dembe was already waiting for them. He held the door open and Liz smiled in thanks, as she slid into the vehicle. While Red was still busy packing his things, Lizzy watched Dembe standing in front of the car. Can he even talk? He never talked to her personally. They only spoke on the phone, although she liked his stoic calmness. Suddenly she was curious how Red and Dembe met. Was he also that silent towards Red? She opened the back window and poked her head through it, looking up at him. He seemed even taller now.

"May I ask you a question, Dembe?"

He peered down at her for a brief moment and nodded, "You may do that."

His voice was deeper than on the phone and definitely more throaty. Not as attractive as Red's, but still pleasant. Tilting her head, a habit she must have picked up from Red, she asked him.

"How did you meet Red? Did you save his life, or something?"

Looking down shortly he raised one eyebrow and huffed a laugh.

"You don't have to answer that, if you can't. I'm just curious, because you're always so quiet and calm, so I don't see you meeting him at a bar or something like that. In a non-professional sense." she said quickly, as she caught his glance.

"I am an orphan. My family was murdered by the Mombasa Cartel. They sold me to peddlers. When I was no longer of further value, they left me chained up in Nairobi. I was 14 and left to die, when Raymond found me. To be honest, in that state, I would have rather died but he simply took me with him. I owe him everything. He is the only family I have." He answered honestly, his eyes fixed on Lizzie's.

Internally happy that she was, at least one time, right that this particular case was important to Red, she choked down the lump in her throat. If she had known that the Mombasa Cartel was responsible for the death of his family, she would have made sure to deal with them accordingly and severely. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she didn't dare let them out. Instead she tried to smile sincerely at Red's best friend, but she must have failed terribly, because one corner of his mouth turned up into an amused smile.

"I know you are sorry. But you don't have to be."

She nodded and chewed on her bottom lip, wondering if her next question was inappropriate or not. There were so many things she didn't know about Red and of course, she was curious about Dembe's journey as well. Although she highly doubted that he would answer her following question, she gave it a shot.

"What was he like when you met him?" she asked.

"I'm not here to play Cupid for the two of you." He smiled, while he eyed the area around them.

Surely he had recognized the change in dynamic of their relationship. He had seen their embrace on that filthy ship. Truth to be told, Raymond Reddington had never been the type for a monogamous relationship. He wooed women in Paris, Madrid, Rio and in many more cities. Only Madeline Pratt was a longer lasting affair, but after she wanted more from him, he fled. But he could see in Red's eyes that his feelings for Liz went deeper and wondered if she was the woman, who could break through his wall.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Dembe whispered as he went around the car to the trunk, when Red closed the front door of the house.

"Excuse me?"

"Ask him!" he stated simply.

"Ask me what?" Red questioned, as took the seat next to her.

"You're not the only one with secrets, Red." she said smiling.

With his lips pursed, he fastened his seat belt, his eyes focused on her, "Obviously not."

Then his attention went back to the landscape.

Watching the scenario in the rearview mirror, Dembe let out a quiet chuckle as he drove off to the Post Office.

* * *

After Red had left, Lizzy told Aram to locate her phone. He didn't even ask why he should do that. He just did it. Despite not being the best marksman, he was her secret hero of the task force.

While she was checking her prepaid phone in front of Cooper's office, Ressler tapped her on the shoulder.

"What's going on between you and Reddington?"

"What's going on with you, lately?" she responded, fairly offended by his rude tone, her eyes leaving the screen of her phone to look at him.

He wiped the sweat from his furrowed forehead. "I'm fine, Keen! So, what's going on between you and him?"

"You're still on your pills, aren't you?"

"I asked you a question." he hissed and guided her in the direction of their office.

She rolled her eyes at him and watched him tight-lipped, as he shut the door behind him.

"I've seen you with him. Didn't look professional to me." he said skeptically, one eyebrow raised.

Lizzy gave him a glazed look and shrugged. It was none of his business at all and as long as he didn't have proof, he couldn't do anything. Furthermore, there was nothing going on. Yet.

"Does he force you into something? Does he blackmail you?"

"No" she answered immediately with an unreadable expression on her face, her arms folded in front of her.

He shook his head and sniffed. This was not the same Liz he knew, the one who told him when something was off. She even told him what she did with Tom, so why doesn't she tell him about Reddington?

"Do you love him?"

Her jaw slacked as he spilled those words out of his mouth. Now that someone had finally asked exactly the question she tried to avoid so badly, she became aware of something. It felt like the first time she went on a rollercoaster ride. She didn't like rollercoasters, especially not the rustling of the chains at the beginning when you're climbing up the hill, but it was exhilarating. It always made her heart pumping faster against her chest. She would close her eyes for the things she didn't want to see, she would want to cover her ears for the things she didn't want to hear, but there was no turning back. Her stomach would have felt full and empty and the lump in her throat would become more difficult to swallow the closer they would come to the peak, but if she had opened her eyes, she would have seen that there was someone beside her, who was going through the same hell.

If she would have listened to that person, she would have heard the words of encouragement that everything is going to be fine. Nevertheless, she would have wished for the time to stop for a couple of minutes to prepare herself for the the next thing to fall down, before it goes up again, with rapid speed.

Her relationship with Red was fairly the same. The day they met had been the start of her career as a profiler, but she ended up as the partner of a notorious criminal. She tried to hate him for destroying her life, her marriage, but she felt more alive at the same time.

Being in danger constantly was somehow thrilling and sitting in an office 24/7 would have been boring anyway. If she hadn't walked through the day with her eyes closed and her ears covered, since she started working with him, she would have recognized that Red is the person next to her.

It wasn't easy for him either and he always supported her. He comforted her, when she was sad. He was there to hold her hand, he put her life ahead of his own, he even built her that damn music box, and she was blinded by thinking of him as an asset, instead of a friend, or the person who tried to bring out the best in her.

Again, she felt starved and stuffed at the same time. The noose was slowly tightening on her until the urge to breath and swallow became unbearable. However, the problem this time was, that it was not just a 120 second rollercoaster ride. This time it was real. And it lasted.

She starred unblinking at Ressler, trying to appear as neutral as possible, but she had a terrible pokerface.

"Even if I loved... him, it wouldn't make a difference, since it would be onesided."

"Liz." he sighted, "You can't fall in love with him."

"If only one could control that." she said quietly, avoiding him by now.

Red's words echoed in her head, 'When you love someone you have no control.'

She was in trouble.

He approached her slowly and inclined his head to have a better look at her.

"Yeah, I bet you would've chosen me instead of him."

She snorted with laughter and looked up, "Rather Aram." she winked and patted his shoulder in sympathy.

"Touché" he said smiling and added with sincerity in his voice, "But honestly, when you need someone to talk to, or my help in general, don't hesitate to call me."

Liz nodded and pursed her lips, now looking like an innocent little girl who asks her parents for a piece of chocolate. She might need Ressler's help, soon. Soon, like now!

"What's the matter?" he asked, as he caught her look.

"Red's meeting a contact in Chicago and won't tell me who it is. I wanna go to there, but I need your help to get rid of Ezra."

"Who's Ezra?"

"Let's say he is my Dembe."

"If he's as tall as Dembe, we might have a problem."

"Just distract him! I'll try to sneak out after I talk to Cooper."

"Okay, but be careful." he nodded.

"Will do."

* * *

The conversation with Cooper went along smoothly. Whatever Red had planned, it apparently concerns the whole Task Force. She wasn't sure, if she would like this plan, since she was worried that Red's rational thinking was blurred by his rage. He can be lethal, when it's necessary. A deadly outcome for his enemies in this case was unworthy of discussion to him, but she feared the consequences. Although they didn't know for certain who held Jennifer hostage, she was convinced Fitch's people were involved.

Ressler watched Liz enter Cooper's office from the window, as he recognized one of the guards and an unfamiliar person close behind.

As soon as Ezra passed by the office, he opened the door.

"Is there a problem?"

The guard stopped. "This man works for Mr. Reddington and wants to pick up Agent Keen."

"Assistant Director Cooper gave his permission?"

He nodded and Ressler pulled him into his office. Perfect.

"Sit down!" Ressler ordered and carefully blocked the exit.

Ezra laughed at his comment and stood by the window instead.

"Where is Agent Keen?"

"That's confidential." Ressler said with a thin smile.

Ezra made a sound of disapproval and shook his head.

"I won't tell anybody where she is, when people are trying to abduct her."

"And it's my job to prevent that from happening." The brown haired man stated matter-of-factly.

Ezra wanted to get out but Ressler pushed him away, and dragged him to sit on a chair by the radiator. He went to the drawer and pulled out a new magazine, his eyes focused on Ezra as he reloaded his gun.

"I'll give you two options, buddy. Either your ass remains on this chair until I allow you to move, or I have to cuff you to the radiator."

"Look" he paused and squinted at Ressler's ID, "Agent Ressler. We both want the same thing. Why don't you stop being a prick and bring me to Agent Keen instead?"

He shoved the weapon in his holster and approached Red's associate with three steps.

"Because," He leaned closer and placed his hand on the wall next to Ezra's head. "I like being a 'prick', and to answer your question: Agent Keen can handle herself very well." he hissed in the most arrogant tone he could manage.

"Reddington's gonna kill us both, if something happens to her." he said, pushing himself off the chair.

Ressler pressed his Glock-18 against his thigh and forced him to sit again. His free hand fiddled for his handcuffs before the metal closed around Ezra's wrist with a 'klick'. Given the fact that Ezra was unarmed, he couldn't do something without getting shot, and that would neither serve Liz, nor him. He sighted as the other end of the cuffs closed around the pipe. "If your partner dies because of this, could you forgive yourself?"

"She's been through worse." he said and went to the office window, waiting for Liz, "And Reddington is a valuable asset and it is her job to protect him.

When Liz hurried down the stairs, she caught Ressler standing in their office, giving her a 'thumbs up'. She waved her hand and headed to the elevator.

* * *

Her plane arrived 3 hours later. She had talked to Aram to find out Red's location. It seemed he was still in his hotel. She also talked to Ressler, who informed her that he 'nailed it', but also that Cooper found out about it and was 'beyond pissed' about their joint action.

Lizzy rented a car and drove off to the address Aram had given her earlier. Red's car was parked in front of the hotel entrance. She sipped from her plastic cup and waited patiently for further movements. It was already 6 a.m, and neither Red, nor Dembe were to be seen. If she would have known that it would take 3 hours for Red to come out, she would changed into something more comfortable.

When Red finally exited the hotel with Dembe, she barely recognized him at first. He looked more like a petty criminal in his dark hoodie than someone from the Most Wanted list. She pulled into traffic, careful that one vehicle remained between her and his car. The drive took another 45 minutes until they came to a stop in a rather unattractive area. As before, she parked on the other side and waited until the coast was clear. She crouched behind a car, one hand on her holster, always on guard. It was odd to watch Red watching someone else, and she wondered if this was the contact he referred to. She squinted into the darkness and noticed that the stranger looked like Tom.

Wait!

His hair and the beard was shorter than on the ship, but it was undoubtedly Tom. A dozen questions popped up in her head. Was this a coincidence? Was he doing business with him? If so, then why? She frowned when she saw how another person knocked Dembe out. With her gun in hand, she tip-toed over the street. Glad that the road was only dimly lit, she stood at Red's old spot behind the bar, while he leaned over Dembe's body. She couldn't see Tom. Unfortunately. Otherwise she would have reacted sooner, but Tom's attack came out of the blue. She inhaled deeply, but none of it seemed to get into her lungs. Her sweaty palms held her pistol, ready to shoot if necessary, but she believed Red would defeat Tom. He had been one of the best graduates at the Naval Academy, and therefore must be incredibly skilled. But now he seemed distracted, unable to defend himself. Tom was stronger, younger and in better shape, but Red had over 20 years experience. What was wrong with him?

She must do something.

Now.

She couldn't bear the image of Red beaten up by Tom any longer. She targeted Tom, who was standing with his back to her. Her hands were shaking, her palms sweaty let alone to mention the rapid beating of her heart against her ribcage.

What if she missed the shot? It could kill Red and she would be responsible for that.

No, she wouldn't. She is an agent. She has done this before. She can do that.

She moved aside, and tried to keep her voice as steady as possible.

"Don't move, Tom!"

But he only turned his head towards her and ginned deadly at her as he raised the blade once more.

She didn't think, she just pulled the trigger and watched Tom's body hit the ground. As soon as her gun was safely placed back into her holster, she hurried first to Dembe, who slowly regained consciousness, then to Red. Blood was dripping down his shoulder, where Tom had stabbed him, but it didn't look life-threatening. She turned him on his back and pressed her fingers against his pulse point on his neck. It was weaker than it should be, but still there. Her palms cupped his cheeks gently as she leaned closer to him.

"Red! Can you hear me? Come on, wake up!" she said in a low voice while her thumbs ran tenderly over his cheekbones.

When he didn't show any reaction, she searched for his phone in his trouser pockets. They must get rid of Tom's body and Red needed a medic. She dialed the only person she knew, who could help, while her other hand was still moving over his cheek.

Mr. Kaplan would know what do to.


	6. Chapter 6

**First of all. Sorry for the delay, but I've been busy with RL and work. Thanks for your continuing support!**

**The next chapter should be done in a few days. I'll try to write faster, I promise!  
**

**A huge thanks to my beta inmate23.**

**I would like to hear your opinions about this one. Are you still interested? Is it too slow-paced, or even boring? **

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The next fifteen minutes were the longest in Lizzie's life. Dembe finally woke up, and hauled Tom's corpse behind the garbage bins. Lizzy, however, never left Red's side and tried to talk to him multiple times. Even though the wound on his shoulder didn't look threatening they couldn't be sure, if he was suffering from internal bleeding. She was far from a religious person, but she prayed that wasn't the case. Internal bleeding usually meant surgery. If he had to have surgery, he'd have to rest for weeks. The problem was they don't have weeks. They have only 5 more days.

When Mr. Kaplan and her team arrived, she ordered to move Red to a warehouse nearby, while she was cleaning up the alley. Dembe and Lizzy heaved him up into the backseat, before they drove in the direction of the warehouse. Red's head rested in her lap all the while, and her hand was occasionally checking for his pulse. Turning on the light, she carefully pulled the beanie off his head, and looked for further injuries. He had a few bruises on his right temple and a small cut above his eyebrow. His shoulder, on the other hand, was still bleeding. She took off her scarf and put pressure on the wound. It was then when a quiet groan escaped him, but he still kept his eyes closed. She leaned her upper body slightly more forward, and cupped his cheek to turn his head in her direction. After her third try to get his attention, Lizzy eventually gave up, and was glad when Dembe parked the car in front of an old industrial building. She saw a silhouette standing outside with a stretcher. Dembe hopped out and was still utterly calm. He must have seen Red a lot worse during the recent years. With the help of the other medic, they laid him down and shoved him inside.

The doctor cut his hoodie open and examined him for further injuries. It was no surprise that his body was covered with bruises in shades of purple and green. Lizzy was anything but relaxed, given the fact that this building didn't look sterile. She could only hope he wouldn't get a infection. She cleared her throat and pointed to his shoulder. "Is this safe?"

Dembe and the other older man, who must have been around Red's age, turned around and gave her a puzzled look as if they just have realized that she was even there. Eventually Red's friend accompanied her and leaned against the stone wall next to the stretcher.

"He's going to stitch him back together and do an ultrasound to make sure he isn't suffering from internal bleeding." Dembe informed her calmly and checked the time on his wrist watch. "You can wait in the car if you want."

She shook her head and wound her arms around her body. The recent events were replayed in her head over and over again. How she watched Red standing there, how Tom's arms clasped Red's throat, the knife in his shoulder and finally how the bullet hit her ex-husband.

She clung harder to her coat as the disturbing thoughts drifted through her mind. Sure, she had killed Tom only to keep Red safe and she would definitely do that again but for the first time she killed someone in cold blood. When did she become this person? A year ago, she didn't have it in her and she shouldn't have it in her. She was an agent after all. Was it because of the things Tom did to her and what he was going to do to Red, or was it an impulse she had to indulge?

She had always been impulsive and volatile and it was probably Red who led her to the dark side. He would have done the same thing for her and it would have probably pleased him to kill Tom with his own hands. That was the one remaining difference between them. It didn't please her, but scared the hell out of her.

It was Dembe who pulled her back to reality by carefully leading her toward the exit. She was getting tired and it wouldn't take long for her to fall asleep, but she needed answers. Answers from Red. For once in her life, Liz wanted the whole truth. What was Tom's role in this whole charade? She needed to see the bigger picture. If Tom did business with Red and he lied to her, what was she supposed to do then? Even the thought made her feel sick. What if Red didn't care that much about her? What if - ?

She took the passenger seat and informed Dembe about her rented car, which was still located in the alley. After he told her that he would take care of that he excused himself to acquire a safe house for the night. Her eyes fluttered shut in spite of herself and she fell into a surprisingly peaceful slumber.

Liz woke up as Dembe had already parked the car at their destination for the night. She unbuckled her seat belt and looked behind her for Red but he was nowhere so be seen. Her eyes switched from the back to the driver's seat with a slight hint of panic.

"He is fine, Agent Keen." He reassured her and went out of the vehicle. His boss and friend was silent during their ride, which was probably due to the sedative, or the fact that Liz had followed them behind his back. He only hoped that the new established _'relationship' _wouldn't suffer from this.

"Where is he? I need to talk to him."

He opened the thick wooden door and pushed her inside before anybody would see them. It wasn't safe for them to stay longer than necessary but Red's injury prevented them from going back just now. "He is in the master bedroom, second floor, first door on the left." Dembe told her, "But he might be sleepy due to Vicodin."

His last words went by unnoticed. She took two steps at once, suddenly wide awake with only one thought in mind. Wrecking Raymond Reddington. Her fingers wound around the doorknob and she entered his room without permission. Liz found him standing in front of the window with his back to her. His shoulders rose and fell slowly and his injured arm hung in a sling. As mad, or confused she might have been before, seeing him very much alive made her feel less mad toward him. Damn this man and his appearance. Apparently wrecking him wasn't an option anymore.

"What do you want, Lizzy?" He asked her without turning around, his voice flat, almost emotionless.

"Tom. Why did you come here to meet Tom?" She responded in the same tone.

She approached the other side of the window and looked out into the night, too much afraid that she might find vulnerability in his eyes and that it might break her.

He shifted his weight on his other foot and leaned his healthy shoulder against the frame.

"This room used to be my favorite. I hated it when I first saw it but when I lay in bed one night, I saw the beauty of this room when the moonlight shined through this window."

Her lips parted slightly to ask him what he meant, but he caught her furrowed brows and cocked his head to the side, while his lips turned upwards to a lazy smile.

"I am going to give you the answers you deserve, but promise me that you won't judge me too soon. Try, at least for once, to look behind the shell."

She nodded and whispered a quiet "Okay," as her eyes focused on him, and only him.

"Marcus Havering was Tom's new identity. He got the papers from me after you let him go."

He heard her gasp for air and immediately went on before she could interrupt him.

"I only did it, because I wanted him gone, Lizzy. Away from you. I had to choose between killing him and sending him away, and I knew that you would hate me if I had killed him, so I gave him new passports and some money." He paused for a short moment to study her, but whatever she might have felt at the moment, she didn't show it.

"The reason I had to track him down was that he is tied to the Fulcrum. I'm almost certain that he stole it, because its former owner wanted it back."

She shook her head in sheer disbelief. Its former owner was her father. The person who died in a fire. How did that fit?

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I think that Tom worked for your father all these years." Again, he paused and swallowed hard.

"What? You told me he's dead."

He could even see through the dimly lit room that she was more than confused. Gently, he held out his hand, a silent invitation which she, to his surprise, accepted almost immediately. Red guided her to the foot of his bed to sit on it. His palm ran tiredly over his scalp as he prepared himself for the following, and perhaps most unbearable minutes. Red sat down next to her, causing the mattress to dip and soon after he felt her body leaning closer to his.

"A few years ago I was looking for a traitor who had to take care of some business for me. A close associate of mine told me about a young man, named Jacob Phelps. He promised me that this man is careful and trustworthy. I contacted him, but we never met personally, because I have trusted my partner to introduce him to our business plans. The background checks were clean, at least that was what my associate had told me. I learned later on that I was played by both of them. It was a terrible mistake of mine to trust him implicitly, but he had always been loyal. Both had seemed to be loyal to me. As I already told you I became suspicious when Jacob aka Tom bought passports.

I tried to follow him, but he simply disappeared from one day to another until he was inserted in your life by Berlin." He drew in a shaky breath and continued looking to the wall opposite from them. When she didn't say anything he continued, "It turned out that he was sort of a triple agent. Eventually, I found out that he was inserted in my own, as well as Berlin's business and I didn't need a minute to figure out why."

"Because of me." She finished his thought.

He gave her a short nod, but still avoided looking at her.

"Exactly. My guess is that your father wanted Tom to work for Berlin. He wanted someone to be close to you, maybe to protect you. From me and Berlin."

"If Tom wanted to protect me, then why did he hold a gun to my head?"

"He would have never shot you. Tom knew I was inside that building and he only wanted to see me wrecked. I don't have many people left I care about and Tom knows I would have suffered a great deal, if he had - " He ended mid sentence because he couldn't bear the thought.

"But if my father is as smart as you say he is, why does he think you would hurt me?"

Red chuckled humorously and turned his head to face her. "I broke into his house, knocked him out and stole valuable information and took his daughter with me. From his point of view, my actions didn't appear heroic at all."

Liz sighed and pushed herself away from the mattress.

"That's what you wanted from Tom? The Fulcrum?"

His eyes followed her movements and he answered quietly. "The current location of your father, if he's alive. I still don't know. I..., I didn't come up with a better idea than that. The Alliance wants it, I don't have it anymore, so there is only your father left in whose possession it could be at the moment."

She groaned out in frustration. She had actually shot the only person who could help them to find this item. Her fingers stroked absently over her scar while she ran up and down before him.

"If he cares for me and finds out that I'm in danger, he might come out of the hole he's hiding in."

"What exactly are you proposing, Lizzy?"

"We are gonna agree with the Alliance, Red. You get your daughter back and with some luck maybe the Fulcrum."

Red stood up abruptly and grabbed her wrist.

"I would never do that, not even in a parallel universe. This is suicidal. Once they have it and you're not of further value anymore. They. Will. Kill. You!"

Liz tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let her. His eyes alternated between a dangerous glint and concern.

"I screwed up your plan when I shot Tom, so please let me clean up that mess!"

"Why did you kill Tom anyway, Lizzy? A bullet in his arm or leg would have been enough." He asked, avoiding to agree to her idea.

His hold on her loosened a bit and he cocked his head to the side.

"He tried to kill you. I-, I couldn't let him do that. I was so afraid I would lose you."

Red's features softened in an instant, as the words left her mouth. He was angry that she followed him and endangered herself, but on the other hand he was utterly grateful that she saved him. She had chosen his life over Tom's. He shoved his hand in his pocket while he walked over to the window again.

"Thank you for saving Dembe and me."

"You've said you have a plan. What is it?"

"We still need to find the Fulcrum. If the wrong person gets it, hell will break lose. We will take care of that after I storm that damn bunker."

She came gradually to a halt behind his back and raised her eyebrows.

"And my idea is suicidal? You don't even know how much backup there is?"

"I guess you set up the meeting with Harold. If so, then my people will teaming up with yours."

He eventually turned around and smiled flatly. "I always have a plan B and after our meeting tomorrow, we will go to London to meet Mr Hobbs at a fancy dinner. Make sure you find a dress!"

Her mouth opened and closed again, as no coherent words left her.

"Who is this Mr Hobbs?"

He went over to the cabinet and poured them two fingers of his fine scotch.

"Someone from Fitch's alliance partners who doesn't appreciate their newly radical path." He handed her the tumbler.

"He's willing to share his information with us. To our knowledge the Fulcrum contains critical events about the past, whereas he can tell us about events in the nearer future. 2017 to be precise. If this is as important as Fitch implied, we may have a chance to blackmail them and prevent horrendous things to happen."

"Busy week then." She said before her lips closed around the rim of the glass to take a small sip. She was getting used to drinking in his presence. Whether this was a good, or a bad thing, she needed something to process all of this. Tom, Jacob, Marcus. Whatever his real name might have been. She will probably never find out. Red's plan was simply suicidal.

"Macallan?" Liz asked after a while.

"Yes." He answered a little surprised.

"It's not as spicy in the finish as the scotch we drank at your cabin," she said looking up,"and I only know that one."

Was she trying to impress him? If so, she succeeded. No, she impressed him anyway, but this was endearing.

Red swirled the tumbler around and smelled on the pale gold liquid. He looked from under his eyelashes at Liz. "It smells like vanilla, butterscotch and..." he growled and paused only to inhale another whiff and closed his eyes as a low hum of pleasure escaped from his lips. "And a hint of damson, don't you think, Lizzy?"

She wondered how this man was capable of making a simple thing, such as talking about the scent of scotch, so ridiculously sexy.

"Uhm, yeah..." she stuttered before she finished her drink in one gulp. Suddenly embarrassed about her behavior she put the tumbler on a small table, all the while avoiding his penetrating and smug gaze. She felt how her cheeks turned red and his stare made her knees weak. This man would be the death of her, but hopefully in a pleasurable way.

"I better take my leave. It's been a long day and you need to rest."

He nodded and watched her leaving, proud that he had such an effect on her. He couldn't be more excited to take her to London.


	7. Chapter 7

**I hope you enjoyed the finale on thursday as much as I did! **  
**A little fluff and funny Red is waiting for you in this one. Hope you'll like it and thanks for your reviews. I try to work on it. **  
**Many thanks to my lovely beta inmate23! **  
**Song lyrics in this one by James Bay's "Running"**

**Still don't own a thing**

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They departed in the early morning hours to get to their meeting with Cooper. Red's night was, yet again, rough and short. His shoulder still hurt from where Tom had stabbed him but it could have been worse.

He has been worse in the past. Red watched Lizzie from the corner of his eye. She seemed to be just as absent as he felt. His hands reached for the scotch bottle when he caught her glance towards him. He sensed immediately what she was trying to tell him and knew if he opens the bottle she would scold him for drinking in the morning and under pain medication.

Before his fingers could close around the bottle, he changed his mind and grabbed the newspaper instead.

He straightened his dress pants and crossed his legs, while his eyes roamed over the front page when Dembe returned from the cockpit.

"Johann called and confirmed Agent Mojtabai's theory. He and Guido are on their way to survey the area in the forest."

Red looked up shortly and gave him a nod.

Then he returned his eyes to an article about a recent shooting in Guatemala.

"Who are Johann and Guido?" her voice called out from the distance.

"Two associates. Luckily, Guido is a forester as well as a hunter and can monitor the area without arising suspicion." He answered nonchalantly without looking up.

He smiled fondly and chewed his cheek, before he folded the paper and placed it on his lap.

"We went together once on a hunt. I have always been interested in hunting and convinced Guido to take me with him. I thought we would be on the high seat for the night but we walked through the forest instead. I had no idea where I was, or where our car was parked but he did." He tilted his head and went on, "And then I turned around for a second and he was gone and I was alone."

She sat opposite from him, listening to one of his many stories, her eyes alternately watching his eyes and lips.

"How did you get out? Did you find him?"

He nodded. "Even better. I just had my revolver with me and tried to go back on my own. I have no idea how long I wandered, but all of a sudden a full grown wild boar appeared behind me." Red paused and chuckled, "I thought that I was as good as dead. People all over the world would pay millions to kill me and a wild boar was about to finally do it."

"What happened?"

"So I turned around and shot him. Straight between the eyes. The perfect shot." He shrugged, "That's when Guido found me. Dear Otis was our only catch that night and my first and probably last hunting."

"You named the animal Otis?"

"After my neighbor's dog. Annoying little cur, let me tell you. Couldn't stand people on bicycles. I came home from school one afternoon and that damn thing swatted its body through the fence and chased me down the street until I arrived at our backyard. Scared the hell out of me." He sighed and shook his head.

It was ridiculous. She couldn't even imagine what he looked like when he was a young boy. He was probably cheeky and a rebel in his youth. At least until he joined the navy.

Liz buckled up her seat belt when the pilot informed them that they were about to arrive in D.C.

She had yet to find a fitting dress.

When they arrived at the Post Office, Red lead Liz through the hallway, his hand casually placed on her back. He could either continue to live in denial, or move forward with their relationship. It was definitely the worst timing to do so, but he couldn't help himself.

Time was a precious commodity that neither of them had at the moment.

Red opened the door to Cooper's office and gestured for Liz to go in first. He was still a gentleman, and just a man as he admired the view of her back.

He took off his hat and watched Ressler who was also standing in the room. Red turned to Liz, his eyes asking the unspoken question, if she wanted him to be there as well. Liz folded her arms and shook her head.

"Reddington, Agent Keen? What is the matter?" Cooper asked from across his office table.

Both heads shot to the side to face Cooper. Liz raised her hands in surrender, Red would do what he wanted to do anyway. She backed away and went to stand next to Ressler by the window.

"Good morning, Harold." Red addressed him and sat down.

"Agent Keen told me you wanted to talk to us." Cooper exclaimed and nodded to Aram and Samar who stood behind him.

"Yes. I want to borrow Agents Mojtabai and Navabi. We found out where Jennifer is and I'm inclined to visit this place. For this, I need both of your best agents." Red said in an insistent voice, the smug smile never leaving his face.

Aram fidgeted with his hands and swallowed as Red finished his sentence. Samar didn't show any kind of emotion, while Liz shook her head at to Red's attitude and Ressler seemed offended for not being invited. Cooper held onto the table, trying hard to control his emotions.

"You can't simply borrow my agents for one of your missions, Reddington!" He shouted.

Red tilted his head in return and smiled, absolutely confident that Cooper would give in within the next 60 seconds.

"My people are currently conducting business with Jaber Mubarak Al-Hamad Al-Sabah, and if this incident hadn't foiled my plans, I would have shared a bowl of shisha with him and tanned my face. Unfortunately though, a group of people decided to kidnap my ex wife's daughter and they are willing to kill one of your agents as well," he paused to let his words sink in and continued in a cold voice, "When was the last time you went to Kuwait, Harold?"

Cooper straightened his neck, let out a breath through his nose and nodded defeated.

"Fine! But if anyone of my people doesn't get out of this alive you are the one responsible for that, Reddington."

"Always a pleasure to talk to you, Harold." He chuckled and got up, his fedora back in place.

"But I'm not a field agent." Aram whispered quietly to himself.

"No need to worry, Aram. You won't do anything that you don't normaly do around here. I'd have called my associate, but he died a week ago, due to a parcel bomb in Chile." He reassured after he heard him, causing Aram to shiver.

Ressler huffed a laugh.

"Your daughter has been kidnapped and these lunatics threaten to kill her and your missus," he said, pointing at Liz, "but you refuse to take me with you, because of your enormous ego?"

"This has nothing to do with my ego, Agent Ressler. Do you really want to discuss this topic in here?" He shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out a little box filled with pain killers, and swallowed two pills.

Resslers eyes hung onto that box and he frowned. No, he didn't want his colleagues and his boss to know about his problems. His fingertips slid over the bridge of his nose and he walked past Liz to the door to leave.

"Dembe will inform you about the travel arrangements." He stated to Aram and Samar.

Red then took a hold of Liz's upper arm to guide her out off Coopers office. It was a clearly something he usually wouldn't do in front of her colleagues but right in this moment he didn't give a damn. Once they were about to pass Liz's office, they saw Ressler sitting at his desk, working on some files.

He looked terrible.

Red stopped in his tracks and let go off Liz, asking her to excuse him for a moment, while he had a word with her partner.

He closed the door behind him and folded his hands in front of him, his feet tapping on the floor to get his attention. Ressler gave him a brief glimpse and put the pen aside.

"What do you want, Reddington?" He asked in a demanding tone, "Tell me how incapable I am? But before you do, let me tell you something. I got shot, I almost lost my leg because I am charged to protect you, a fugitive, a murderer, a traitor..." He stood up and walked towards him, "And if this wasn't enough, I lost the woman I loved. We were expecting a child. I was going to be a father."

Donald swallowed and pursed his lips angrily. He could swear he saw sympathy in Red's eyes though he doubted this man was capable of having those feelings.

"You walked in here and created chaos all around, I haven't had the time to process all of that. I know that I suck! I don't need you to remind me of that. Do you think I enjoy popping pills as if they were candy? Because I don't."

He drew in a breath and held it for mere seconds before he let it out.

"I am one of the good guys, Reddington, and so is Liz. I may be an addict, but I am a good guy. You, on the other hand, are a ruthless criminal, using my friend to your advantage, whatever you need her for, and you know that. You want to protect her, but you are the one who puts her constantly in danger. She deserves someone better than you. All I want you to know is, if something happens to her, if you hurt her, or her feelings, I'm gonna kill you!" He promised him in a low tone, "And you don't have the privilege to tell me what's right and what's not."

Red listened to his words and he knew, deep down, that Donald was right. The corner of his mouth turned down slightly, but he never averted his gaze from Ressler's. He was aware what Liz's partner was going through although he hadn't known that Audrey was pregnant. Red knew how it felt to lose everything that made life worth living, but he clung onto the idea of having Lizzie. She deserved someone better than him, someone who has a pure heart, not a criminal liar whose hands could kill mercilessly without any signs of regret.

He was a irreparable soul.

He picked out a small piece of paper and handed it to Ressler.

"In case you need professional help. Dr. Miller is one of the best in this country."

"And I'm sorry about the loss of your child, Donald!" He clenched his jaw, "But as you said you are one of the good people and you will find someone who will fill the void in your heart." He added quietly, leaving the room and went to his car.

Liz and Red arrived at the Four Seasons Hotel where the Dinner would be held. Fortunately, Red had booked a suite in the same hotel, so that no further driving would be involved.

London has always been among her favorite cities. The last time she went there was as a college student. She would go from one club to another with her friends and barely remember how she got back to her hotel. Too bad that those pleasant memories would be now replaced by the cruel reality that her life has become. Before she met Red, or more precisely before Red entered her life, she lived in a bubble. She knew very well that bad people were living out there, but she had never thought that some of the worst criminals were politicians or CEO's. Those people had influence and it was frightening her.

She checked her appearance for the last time in the window and drew in a deep breath. She had chosen a strapeless, knee length black dress. Casual, but form fitting.

Red told her that Roger Hobbs was a millionaire and invested his money in several companies all over the world. Why exactly the alliance was founded in the first place she didn't know.

As always everyone was waiting for Red. Dembe stood by the door, occasionally looking at his watch when Reddington finally joined them in the hall. He was dressed in his tuxedo and she couldn't suppress the urge to look at him more closely. She loved seeing him in his suits but those tuxedos... Heavenly!

He straightened his jacket as he entered the room and glanced slack-jawed towards the woman in front of him. His eyes roamed briefly over her perfectly shaped body until he regained his composure and held out his arm.

"Shall we?" He asked her a little too hoarsely.

The look on his face didn't go by unnoticed, but she decided not to elaborate further on that and took his arm.

The three of them entered the ballroom and were greeted by a young man. Red introduced her as Ms. Susan Maracle, before they were lead to their table, where an older looking man was already waiting for them.

"Hello Roger." Liz eyed how Red shook his hand briefly instead of pulling him into a hug which means he wasn't one of his closest associates.

"Susan, this is Roger Hobbs, Roger this is my lovely financial planner Susan Maracle."

"Nice to meet you Ms. Maracle. May I say that you look wonderful in this dress." He stated in a low rumble and pulled the chair back for her.

"Thank you" She smiled and watched how Red sat down next to her with a clearly displeased look on his face.

"Now that we're past the formalities, what intel can you give us, Roger?" He asked and Liz could bet she heard a jealous undertone in his voice.

After he took a short look around the room he sighed.

"They are about to start a third world war. The information I can give you is that a bombing in Washington, London, Paris and Berlin is set. They will make it look like it was an order from Russia."

"They'd bomb their own capital?" Liz chocked out.

He nodded.

"They would kill the president if necessary."

"What do you know about Jennifer?" Red asked.

"Nothing. You said they are holding her captive in Germany and I don't have the best relationship with them." Hobbs said matter-of-factly and pulled an USB flash drive out of his pocket and gave it to Red.

"That is all the information you need but be very careful. I'm sure the area is heavily surrounded and I wouldn't bet on my intel too much. You can try to blackmail them but they are careful. Shoot your way through this facility and try it. I'm sorry I couldn't help you any further, Raymond!"

Red put the device into his trouser pocket and nodded in thanks. The Cabal was usually three steps ahead but he had to take this risk, in order to save Jennifer.

"I appreciate your loyalty, Roger. If you are in need, feel free to contact me or Dembe."

With that he bid his goodbye, leaving the two people alone. Dembe was staying at the entrance, keeping his guard up. Liz fingers brushed over the brim of her glass while her eyes were fixed on the white table cloth.

"Is something wrong, Lizzie?" Red asked with obvious concern in his voice.

She snorted and slowly turned her head to face him.

"Everything is wrong, Red. Haven't you heard what he just said? We must do something."

"We will." He smiled reassuringly and grazed the top of her hand with his finger. "We will met Samar and Aram tomorrow and figure something out."

"Are you sure you will be able to do something?" She pointed to his injured shoulder but he must have swallowed so many pain killers that he was basically numb. He didn't even wear his sling anymore. As much as she tried to talk some sense into him, he wouldn't let go of his idea and neither would she. She wanted him safe and he wanted her safe.

"I've been worse and I came out of it alive and if I'm not, then it is not going to be the end of the world." His palm covered her hand and he gave it a gentle squeeze. "I just want to protect you and Jennifer. Nothing else matters."

Liz pulled out her hand from under his and stroked over her scar. He should stop doing this. It sounded as if he didn't see himself worthy to live. She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked the few tears away which threatened to roll over her cheeks. Her tried to form a small smile, but she was sure she failed in doing so.

His hand in front of her brought her back to the present. He was standing before her, smiling as gently as ever. Liz remained in her seat for a mere moment until Red took her by the hand and lead her across the room to a small dance floor. The last time they had danced was at the embassy and this was a memory she rather wanted to forget. Their waltz back then was sloppy, both tried to force the other to follow their lead.

_When my heart is ready to burst,  
When the world spins in reverse  
I'll keep running  
To the place where I belong_

_When you go, turn down the light  
No one's here to hold you in the night  
I'll keep running  
To the place where I belong_

_When you think you're on your own  
I'm still coming home! _

She felt her heartbeat quicken against her chest as he placed his hand on her lower back and pulled her closer to him. The heat radiating from his hand spread across her whole back and she would lie if she said that she didn't enjoy this feeling. They began softly to sway to the music. Despite her inner war with herself, she let him take the lead for now. It was more than a simple dance though. She gave herself to him. Not just in this moment, but also for the future, hopefully a future together as one. Her head leaned comfortably against his shoulder while her palm rested on his chest, just above his heart. The amount of safety he could provide was scary and, yet it felt as if this is the place where she belonged. She had never felt that with Tom, or any other of her ex boyfriends before. Not for the first time she asked herself if he felt that way, too. His hand on her back travelled to her waist, while he dropped his head and she could feel his how his breath ghosted over her ear. Her eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of the direct contact between them. She couldn't deny her feelings for him any longer. He had never been just an asset.

_When our picture fades in the sun  
And all the colors blur in the one  
I'll keep running  
To the place where I belong_

_When you think you're on your own  
I'm still coming home!_

"I think I have to apologize for my manners earlier on." He whispered directly in her ear.

"Why is that?" She replied equally quietly.

"I missed the point where I should have told you how beautiful you look tonight, breathtaking even."

"Thank you." She couldn't help but smile and felt her cheeks turning into a soft shade of red. From the corner of her eyes she could see that his were tightly shut, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself.

_When you all gets blinded  
When you fold with the cards  
No, I'll never stop fighting  
To get to where you are! _

"Are you okay?" She put some distance between them. "Are you in pain?"

"No... Yes, but it is a different kind of pain." He admitted in a gruff tone. "I – when you showed up in Chicago I was disappointed that you went there against my order. If Tom had killed me, I would have brought you and Jennifer in more danger than you already are. I almost failed in my mission to keep both of you safe and the reason for that is ..." His grip on her tightened as he fought for the right words and she watched how his shoulders rose and fell faster.

Her hand moved from his back up to cup his cheek. The green eyes were concealed by his golden eyelashes she usually admired but right now, she only wished he would look at her.

He let out a shuddered breath and tried to steer away from her, but before he could do so her other hand was on his right cheek, holding him in place.

"The reason for that is?" She asked him softly.

"You are!"

"Me?"

"The reason I don't let anybody in is that once it happens, I tend to destroy it. I bring nothing but havoc into other peoples lives, including yours. You want me in your life but I cannot give you that, Lizzie. I must protect my feelings for you by shutting you out of my mind. I was scared that something could happen to you while I was gone. I was so distracted with my worries about you that I forgot anything else." He swallowed thickly, opening his eyes to find her standing before him, almost frozen in place. "If I allow myself to love you, then I have to take the risk of losing you!"

It hurt to hear him saying those words to her. She hurt for him. That he couldn't see that she felt the same and was game to take the risk.

For him.

For them.

_Wherever we go_

_When the lights are faded to black  
Only stars are guiding me back  
I'll keep running  
To the place I belong_

Her fingertips slid over his jacket to his hands, which hung loosely at his sides to take his hands.

"You're right. Your chaos is dangerous for my life, but you know what? I already knew that." She said, tilting her head, "You are by far not perfect, but neither am I. Both of us have our demons to fight and we're both damaged, but not damaged beyond repair. You are not the monster you claim to be and when I said that to you I was -"

"I am a -" He tried to cut her off.

"I was wrong. I don't know what happened to you and why you have become the person you are today, but I know that there is a person buried deep inside who craves to be loved. And you are deserving of it. Love is a risky business, but the real question is if it is worth to take the risk.

I have asked myself this question and came to the conclusion that you are worth it. I choose you, Red, because I know that you are the right one for me. You are honest, trustworthy, smart, funny and sexy. Your highest priority is my safety and happiness and this is what I want for you as well. I'm not begging you to choose me but I am giving you a choice. Am I worth it?" She asked in an appealing voice.

She dared to take a step closer to him and he looked defeated. It seemed as if her words didn't give him encouragement but hurt him even more. Her hand found the back of his head and she boldly pressed her lips against his in a lingering kiss. She hadn't thought that he might not respond but at this moment she didn't care. She had imagined this scene more than once. How his lips would feel, what he would do, how he might taste and how it would make her feel to kiss him.

His lips were expectably soft, though he was still numb in place but she couldn't help and smile as she pulled back.

_When you think you're on your own  
I'm still coming home!_

"Think about it." She said and pecked him on the cheek before she went to the elevator.

She had made her point perfectly clear. It was his move now!

Queen to B4. Check!


End file.
